Things Learned, Questions Formed

Yes, it has been a very long time since I posted here. Yes, I do suck. Thanks for noticing.

I have a new job as a cashier at Kmart. The Kmart where I live is mostly deserted and creepy. Also full of buzzing fluorescent lights and annoying pre-recorded announcements that repeat often. I’m surprised it’s still in business, honestly, and I heard unofficially that we’ve only got another few months. I don’t care, honestly, it’s not like I was planning to make a career out of this. But I have some interesting observations, and even more questions, gathered on my nights working at Kmart.

  • Sometimes people buy very odd things. It’s possible that they are on scavenger hunts, or that they just have very odd and urgent needs. Such as people who come in ten minutes before closing to buy a plastic toy that talks/new underwear/propane/a high school musical barbie. These are examples just from tonight, all from unlikely-looking shoppers. My favorite example comes from last week. A couple bought 88 polo shirts in different colors and sizes, all sizes, and offered no explanation. Paid four hundred dollars cash.
  • Why do people make me ring everything up and then decide they don’t want half of it?
  • Why does anyone need $100 worth of canned cat food–every week?
  • Lots of people are really mean to their kids. Of course, lots of kids scream uncontrollably.
  • Why do people bring items to the checkout and then shove them behind the candy?
  • Some people are truly insane. Such as the woman who was wearing lots of tinfoil and told me all about how people were shooting her with lasers through their flashlights that they shone at her tent as she slept. Apparently these secret lasers feel like forks sticking through her.
  • These crazy people like to hang out at Kmart and tell me all about their very interesting and imaginary lives.
  • Why do people need plastic bags for their pack of gum/diet coke/candy bar?
  • Why will some people wait half an hour to purchase an unmarked four dollar coffee cup?
  • Why do people insist on blaming me for everything that goes wrong in their shopping experience? I do not control the prices/the crowding/the temerature.
  • Why do people expect the cashier to know where every obscure object in the store is?
  • IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOUR LIFE SUCKS. DON’T TAKE IT OUT ON ME. I AM GETTING PAID SEVEN DOLLARS AN HOUR AND IT’S NOT ENOUGH TO PUT UP WITH YOUR CRAP.

The end.

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2 Comments »

  1. girljordyn Said:

    Haha EXACTLY. At my job there’s not much room for people to buy odd things and homeless never come in our store, but it’s stilll…. annoying. Last week a guy seriously asked me if he could have a little bag to SPRAY THE TESTER COLOGNE INTO for a sample.

    Um….
    they must not realize that I shut my brain off while I’m working because I don’t need it and have no good answers for that particular request.

  2. SadieSadie Said:

    Having a job that deals with people a lot really makes you aware how many crazy people there are out there. Although I know that people have probably definitley wondered about some of the items I have bought late at night. 🙂


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