When does my life begin?

We spend eighteen years as “children.” When do we really become “grown up?” My best friend recently turned eighteen. I’m eighteen in a few months. It doesn’t make you a grown up.

We seem to think of growing up as working towards real life. We’re kids, we think, we have all the time in the world. We have our whole lives ahead of us. So we put off things we’d love, because we think we have years for it, whatever it is.

Maybe this way of thinking makes us waste the first eighteen or so years of our lives. Maybe it doesn’t. Depends on what you think of as “wasting.”

I feel like the first 17-and-change years of my life have been working towards independence. I’ve been working towards taking charge of my life. But…am I ever going to be in sole charge of my life?

I think not. Now, it’s my parents. Someday, it’ll be a job, maybe a family, but there will always be something standing in my way of being in control of my life. I can fight it. I can try to change it. But can I change it? I don’t think so. But can I accept it? I don’t think so. I want to be in charge of my life. I want to be in charge of where I am, who I am, who I spend time with, what I do with my life. But I don’t know if I am, or ever will be.

What is independence? Do we ever have it? Does it mean loneliness? Do we even want it?


  1. Cat Said:

    I’ll be 33 in January, which to you might seem like I am ready for senior discounts in stores (heh), but I can tell you that it’s only been since my late 20s (28 or so) that I finally started to figure out who I am and be HAPPY with who I am.

    You can choose your job, your career, and therefore you will be in charge of that. Your employer will never fully be in charge of YOU. That’s your choice. Of course you may have to wait a few years before you can find the job you really want to be in, often you get stuck in crappy places because you have to pay bills, gain experience, etc. But it’ll happen.

    But again, I never really felt like I was in control of things until I was almost 30. It’s not something that comes easily, but it comes somewhere down the line.

    I say all this from experience, I had a horrible time with growing up, a lot of issues that make me appreciate things today so much more than most people would. Love. Friends. Self-confidence. At 16 I thought I wouldn’t live past my teens, but I made it and in my early 20s I wondered why I bothered. But I made it then, too.

    Now? Now I know why I stayed alive and I am very happy that I am.

    Um, and yeah.

  2. Erin Said:

    Does independence mean loneliness? that’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.
    I want independence so much…but I don’t know what it is, exactly, either.

  3. Jasmine Said:

    I belive independence is a thought of being who you want to be.
    Maybe we do have it sometime within our lives. I believe its our choice if it means loneliness or not. Some people do want it probably more than others.

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